How to Control Your Negative Thoughts after Spouse Infidelity to Survive the Affair

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Upon discovery of a cheating spouse, one of the most difficult things to do is control your negative thoughts after spouse infidelity to survive the affair.  In fact, what you've probably found most often is that your thoughts seem to be more in control of you than you are of them.

Have you struggled to find a way to turn that scenario around?  Are you desperate to stop that negative thought loop in order to gain some semblance of sanity?  Are you beginning to wonder if you'll ever be able to get those negative thoughts out of your head?

Well I have some good news.  While stopping the negative thoughts and gaining control of what's going on in your mind may be a challenge, it can done.  Here are some tips about how to control your thoughts after spouse infidelity in order to survive the affair.

First, it's important to understand that you are not alone in this darkness of negative thoughts.  It is one of the most common occurrences for the unsuspecting husband or wife who discovers they have a cheating spouse.  And though you may question whether you've simply gone crazy, I can assure you that's not the case.  The thoughts going on in your mind are normal.  Accepting that fact is an important part of the recovery process.

The next action in taking control of your negative thoughts after spouse infidelity is to "reclaim your inner sanctuary."  That means taking back the control of your mind…and only you have the power to do that.  The best way for that is to happen is to challenge the old negative thoughts from making the constant barrage in your brain and practicing positive replacements.

The steps in doing this are:

  1. Thought Tracking – In this step you want to start monitoring or observing when the negative thoughts happen.  Consider it the data gathering you need to help you learn from for the next important step.  As you track or monitor the negative thoughts, pay close attention to times and places when you are most likely, less likely, and not likely at all to have those negative thoughts.
  2. Start the Investigation – After tracking when the bad thoughts occur, the next step to control your negative thoughts after spouse infidelity is to look for the patterns.  When, where…what causes the negative thoughts?  Do they run rampant during a particular time of day or are there certain places that trigger them.  Maybe they come about as a result of something you see.  These arethe clues in your investigation that are necessary to pay attention to.
  3. Time to Break the negative thought pattern – Now that you've discovered the pattern of when the negative thoughts occur, the third step to control your thoughts after spouse infidelity is to break that scheme.  The process of doing that entails changing the scheme.  For example if there is a certain time of day that those thoughts occur then find something such as an activity that will occupy your thoughts during that time frame until that hour passes.  If it's a place that you go to, avoid going to that place.  This step requires playing a very active role in getting rid of the negative thoughts.  While it won't happen overnight, it will over time help ease and eventually get rid of the negative thoughts.

While these steps may not come naturally to you, with some effort a change can be made.  And by applying these tips and taking these steps you will be able to control your negative thoughts after spouse infidelity and survive the affair.

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Jo Chris has 9428 articles online and 6 fans

Jo Chris is a professional relationship writer specializing in helping couples save their marriage and survive the affair. To learn how you can take control of your negative thoughts, restore the trust, rebuild the honesty and learn how to forgive after you learned your spouse had an affair, then use this link to receive a free course outlining the 7 steps you must take right now if you want to survive the affair. Course includes instructions for eliminating obsessive thoughts, rebuilding self-esteem and restoring trust.

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How to Control Your Negative Thoughts after Spouse Infidelity to Survive the Affair

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This article was published on 2010/09/23
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